Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Bored Housewives

I love women; generally speaking, I revere women. I’ve long been a supporter of the aspiring career woman. She turns me on. Anyone close to me will tell you I put women on an ideological pedestal. I have for years. That’s my life; that’s my view; that’s my right. And, quite likely, I offer the following in utter respect to her, with few other motives.

NO MORE BORED HOUSEWIVES POSING AS COMPETENT PROFESSIONALS!!

That’s right. After three years—with the help of a woman nonetheless—I’ve come to the conclusion that many women in today’s Internet “workforce” are but bored housewives posing as competent professionals. It took me three years, thousands of dollars in wasted wages and expenses, and thousands of hours better spent with a true professional—to realize most women out there today are but bored housewives posing as competent professionals.

No more!

You want to be a housewife? Revel in it, darlin’; become mother of the year. But stay out of the biz realm. Sell all the trinkets you want from your hobby site, but don’t pretend that you know the working world. You have no business here, and you only make yourself look foolish.

Listen, women have, for years, chosen one of two things: career or motherhood. Now, as much as you may want to be a New Millennium Chick, as much as you may “want it all,” in reality merging the two rarely works. And it NEVER works when you’ve chosen—instead of going directly into the workforce out of high school and sacrificing your ability to breed for at least a couple decades, or gaining a college degree and then applying yourself to career for thirty or forty years like your average man—to breed and rear first and THEN enter the workforce.

And, to do so, to be so arrogant that you believe this realm, the corporate realm, is but a game that any under-experienced, undereducated soul with a monitor and mouse can enter is nauseating.

You want to breed and raise little rabbits? That’s great. You’re probably a hell of a mother, and that’s admirable. But don’t pretend that you can do, on a moment’s notice and part-time, what your fellow female career woman has spent her entire life learning and perfecting. Don’t give us that shit. You may well be a star mother, but she’s a star OUT HERE! Respect that, for Christ sake.

I didn’t create nature’s laws; I didn’t handicap you with a womb. But hear me when I say this: Learn your boundaries and save us all the headache!

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