Monday, February 25, 2008

Eights

I was listening to XM8 today, during a break from my next book and remodeling my house, simultaneously. As I relived my youth (in the second-greatest decade in American history, next to the fifties), I had a few questions (eight, to be exact) relevant to the decade.

1.) What was pop music's best male voice in the eighties? (My answer would be Simon LeBon, hands down.)

2.) Who was the coolest rock star of the era? (My answer would be Michael Hutchense. In fact, although he died while chasing a taboo form of orgasm, I'd say he was the coolest to ever live.)

3.) Best chick-fronted band of the eighties? (For me, The Motels and Bananarama.)

4.) What was the decade's best film? (I'd say The Untouchables, even though Tequila Sunrise might be my favorite from the decade.)

5.) What was the decade's best television show? (Because it paved the way for damn near every drama now on television, I'd say, without hesitation, Miami Vice. Best sit-com would probably be The Cosby Show, as it too paved the way for much of today's sit-com realm.)

6.) Biggest farce of the eighties? (While most Gen Yers will point to the skinny pink ties and big hair, I'd have to say that the biggest farce of the eighties was the fame, albeit momentary, of one Kip Winger.)

7.) What was the coolest/hippest American city in the eighties? (While it probably was LA or Miami, I'd say Chicago, just because I saw it first-hand.)

8.) Best scandal? (The Iran Contra, Granada Invasion, Savings & Loan, and Junk Bond Market fiascos were choice. Yet, I'd have to go with the absurdity of the Panama Invasion and its 2100 civilian deaths. Why, really, WHY do we not hear more of this massacre in our political history and films??? It was beyond ruthless; it was beyond corrupt.)

Have a great week.

NP

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If you enjoy strong-but-feminine women, sexy love stories, hot romance stories, romantic fiction, romance novels, sensual fiction, women's fiction, sentimental fiction, great novellas, award-winning fiction, Nicholas Sparks, Nora Roberts, or Richard Paul Evans, you can read a sample of Nelson's Bronte Prize-winning novella, Bee Balms & Burgundy, right now for free HERE. (See for yourself why it beat out Nicholas Sparks, Nora Roberts, and Richard Paul Evans, among others, for the title of "North America's Best Love Story of the Year." [Bronte Prize results are HERE.])

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Tedious Tuesday

A few thoughts and tidbits:
* We've entered yet another "cold snap" this week in the Upper Midwest, our sixth such "snap" in the last six weeks. When, indeed, does a "cold snap" no longer qualify as a "snap" or a "spell" and simply become a "really shitty winter"???

* I'm so glad pitchers and catchers have finally reported. Let's wrap up hockey (Just hand the Stanley Cup the Red Wings already) and basketball (Crown the Celtics champs today), along with winter, and get on with the greatest game on earth—steroids, HGH, lies, gluttony and all. Go Twins!

* Saw Fool's Gold and Jumper this past week. Both good films, in my opinion. Of course, the woman with which I attended Fool's Gold tingled below the belt every time Matthew M. flexed his bare chest. Then again, seeing a petite Alexis Dziena in bikini, spread wide and with harpoon between legs, lathered me up a bit as well, so...

* Did you know that the average American is literally rotting from the inside out? Pretty sick when you think about it. (Especially if you're one consuming plenty of raw fruits and vegetables and cleansing himself/herself internally on a regular basis.) Think about that the next time you make love to or indulge in oral gratifying encounters with your mate. Is he or she in fact rotting and decaying from the inside out?

With that in mind, here's a simple little green smoothie recipe sure to not only cleanse you but satiate you as well:

* Two diced mangoes
* One pint diced pineapples
* One cup kumquats
* Seven large kale leaves sheered from stem
* 1.5 litres of purified water
* Mix into oversized blender pitcher then blend.


Nurse that all day and see what happens.

~

Deadpan Alley

Johnny races into the house from the school bus, bawling his little eyes out. “Mommy, all the kids on the school bus say I have a big head.”

Mommy squats in front of him. She wipes a few tears from his cheeks, and then hugs her little boy. “Johnny, sweetheart, you don’t have a big head.” She pats little Johnny on the back. “You have a hideously deformed head. The other kids are just trying to protect your feelings."

~

Look for the audiobook version of Bee Balms & Burgundy February 28.

Until next time...

Peace & Luv

NP

###

If you enjoy strong-but-feminine women, sexy love stories, hot romance stories, romantic fiction, romance novels, sensual fiction, women's fiction, sentimental fiction, great novellas, award-winning fiction, Nicholas Sparks, Nora Roberts, or Richard Paul Evans, you can read a sample of Nelson's Bronte Prize-winning novella, Bee Balms & Burgundy, right now for free HERE. (See for yourself why it beat out Nicholas Sparks, Nora Roberts, and Richard Paul Evans, among others, for the title of "North America's Best Love Story of the Year." [Bronte Prize results are HERE.])


Sunday, February 10, 2008

Winter Wasteland

OK, so, it's -312 degrees today in the Upper Midwest, the Siberia of America.

God, I hate winter. Even though I'm a former FIS World Cup skier, I...hate...winter!!! I need to move closer to the equator, man. Perhaps the mountains just outside Panama City, Panama. Yeah, that'll work. But this shit...no thanks anymore.

Which brings me to another point: Why are people here so ignorant? A woman I talked to the other day has always wanted to move to Denver. But, she said, "I love the four seasons, so I stay here." What??? People in the Twin Cities have been sold a bogus bill of goods; everyone in Minnesota believes the press when they say it's a great place to live, that it's Utopia. Why? It's -312 degrees all winter; traffic's a bitch; crime's on the rise yet again; ninety-nine percent of the population is, on average, ninety-nine pounds overweight; and the state boasts one of the highest property taxes and income taxes in America. For what? Where's the weather? The jobs? The tax incentives? The beach? The damn mountains??? (Not to mention those cherished "four seasons"? As far as I can see, it's winter for eight months, then summer for four.) And the "culture" we're "renowned" for...please. We don't even have a regional, touring dance company! Even Winnipeg has a touring dance company, man.

I had to tell the woman that there are four seasons in Colorado as well. But, instead of maple reds, you get aspen yellows. "Oh, really? I didn't know that." How the hell could you when you believe everything some sheltered, biased idiot on the radio or TV tells you about this hell-hole. At least I have the excuse that I moved back to look after my parents. Now, my father is dead, and I wonder: How fast can I get out of this place???? I'll openly say it at the risk of alienating certain readers: I hate the Midwest with zest! It's flat, damp and cold, and really fucking gloomy.

I also read today that 82% of all Americans will remain their entire lives near the cities in which they were born. Wow! Double wow!! That's kind of sad. I mean, that makes me wonder how we ever discovered the Wild West. Really, that's absurd when you think about it. I've seen 22 countries and more than 300 cities. I've lived in eight different states. I STILL feel like I haven't seen enough! But, the rest of my family is true to that 82%, so...it must be correct.

Anyway...I've provided a link herein to the first chapter of a book I'm currently penning called Nerve Gas. It's a social satire that takes place in Denver. It's got a bit of profanity, vulgarity, and all that good stuff. But, I know it'll be highly entertaining when done. So, if you want to read a book as it's being written, in rough draft form, click here for the PDF (chapter one).

As well, the audiobook version of Bee Balms & Burgundy is now at the studio being mastered. Thus, it should be available to all in the next two weeks. You'll want to pick it up, as it may be the best audiobook you'll hear this year; it's a masterpiece, my friends.

Stupid quote of the week:

“It reminds me of being in the Army, even though I was in the Navy.”
- Baseball great Yogi Berra, when discussing the Broadway musical Biloxi Blues


Until next time...

Peace & Luv

NP

###

If you enjoy strong-but-feminine women, sexy love stories, hot romance stories, romantic fiction, romance novels, sensual fiction, women's fiction, sentimental fiction, great novellas, award-winning fiction, Nicholas Sparks, Nora Roberts, or Richard Paul Evans, you can read a sample of Nelson's Bronte Prize-winning novella, Bee Balms & Burgundy, right now for free HERE. (See for yourself why it beat out Nicholas Sparks, Nora Roberts, and Richard Paul Evans, among others, for the title of "North America's Best Love Story of the Year." [Bronte Prize results are HERE.])